Managing Conflicts – Tough Conversations

“When conflict is ignored—especially at the top—the result will be an enterprise that competes more passionately with itself than with its competitors.”— Howard M. Guttman, When Goliaths Clash, 2003

If you’re in charge of people, you know how much of your time gets spent putting out fires, particularly interpersonal ones. In the work I do  with managers, some tell me that at least 20 percent of their time is consumed by taking care of conflict.  But the problems don’t stop there. Productivity decreases further when coworkers ruminate over arguments and disagreements. 

We work in a culture that values democratic processes and individual freedom. Some people encourage debate. I don’t think this is a bad thing, as new ideas often spring from those who refuse to “go along just to get along.”  I believe that conflict should be neither suppressed nor ignored within an organization. When it goes unnoticed, it only gets worse and invites stress. Eliminating conflict is not the answer. I’ve seen companies take this approach and I’ve seen some disasters.  It may be getting worse. Anytime there are cutbacks, there is a rise in conflict. Trend analysts predict workplace conflicts will rise because people face increased pressure to produce more and better with fewer resources. 

Job insecurity, a fluctuating economy, the stress of technological advancements, increased commoditization, and an epidemic of outsourcing and downsizing  ̶  these are only some of the factors that are putting stress on today’s work force. 

The Leadership Edge 

There is a strong link between the ability to resolve conflict and one’s perceived effectiveness as a leader. According to research from the Management Development Institute of Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida, effective managers resolve conflicts by employing four key behaviors:

1. Gaining perspective
2. Creating solutions
3. Expressing emotions
4. Reaching out

 Those who succeed are deemed more suitable for promotion. But most managers are trained in the competencies required for their careers and industries. They aren’t necessarily astute negotiators of people’s emotions and relationships.

That may be behind the recent upsurge in demand for coaching services.  The more people are stressed, the more they need help in managing their emotions and relationships. Conflict is often the catalyst.  Managed well, conflict can stimulate creativity, motivate people to stretch themselves, encourage peer-to-peer learning and help teams move beyond the status quo.   

Your task, as a leader and manager, is to conduct tough conversations that help address  workplace conflicts without wasting time. Conflict isn’t something to take lightly.  Tough conversations are hard to have, worth having, but not worth risking poor outcomes.

That’s why I recommend working with an experienced coach.