What we think will make us happy is usually off-base. While we may work hard to achieve pleasure and fulfillment short-term, we often misunderstand the factors that influence our positive experiences long-term.
I hear this from my coaching clients: “I’ll be really happy when…”
We assume certain events and milestones will do the trick:
A promotion at work
A clean bill of health
A dream vacation
We routinely overestimate the degree to which material goods will bring us happiness. Money may contribute to happiness (at least a little bit), but the feeling won’t last.
Meanwhile, we pursue a variety of short-term activities that feel good in the moment but fail to last. At the same time we ignore the more fruitful ways to increase happiness long-term.
Researchers such as Sonja Lyubomirsky generally agree that we’re happiest when we combine frequent good experiences with a few very intense ones. To feel happy, we must focus on the frequency — not the intensity — of positive life events.
Learning how to celebrate little victories, recognizing their importance in our lives and working hard to minimize negative events will accomplish more than waiting around for a single über-happy experience.
5 Character Strengths that Bring Happiness
Attaining happiness also requires you to believe that you contribute to events and play a major role in their outcomes. A sense of mastery over both positive and negative events in your life is essential to your overall sense of well-being.
Positive-psychology researchers Nansook Park, Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman have been studying 24 character strengths to determine their role in creating subjective feelings of happiness. One key study, with more than 4,000 participants, revealed that five of these strengths are most closely related to life satisfaction:
It’s important to note that each of these strengths or characteristics can be learned and practiced. You can become more grateful, optimistic, zestful, curious and loving if you’re willing to be intentional and make the effort. I’ve seen it happen over and over again. It is possible if you want it.
If you’d like to learn more about how you can learn to be happier, give me a call today and we will explore how to expand your happiness quotient.