The Path to Improvement: Strengths or Weaknesses?
The answer was always the same: weaknesses, not strengths, deserve the most attention. The most strengths-focused culture is the United States, but still only a minority of people, 41 percent, felt that knowing their strengths would help them improve the most. The least strengths-focused cultures are Japan and China. Only 24 percent believe that the key to success lies in their strengths.The majority of people in the world don’t think that the secret to improvement lies in a deep understanding of their strengths. Interestingly, in every culture, older people (55 and above) were the least fixated on their weaknesses. Perhaps they have more self-acceptance and realize the futility of trying to be what they are not.
Why Are Weaknesses Attractive?
Why do so many people avoid focusing on their strengths? Weaknesses may be fascinating and strangely mesmerizing. But the attraction lies in the fact we deeply fear our weaknesses, our failures and even our true self.
Some people are reluctant to investigate their strengths because they may fear there isn’t enough real talent, or that they are just average (again, ingrained from education models). Or, there is a feeling of inadequacy, an “imposter syndrome,” and an underlying fear of being found out.
Despite your achievements, you may wonder whether you are as talented as everyone thinks you are. You suspect that luck and circumstance have played a big part in getting to where you are today.
However, if you do not investigate your strengths, or any of the fears and feelings of insecurity, you will miss out on discovering more of who you really are.
Too Close to See?
You’re probably not as cognizant of your strengths as you could be because most of us take them for granted. We are so embedded in our strengths, we are not aware of them as strengths. We think everybody is that way too. It never occurs to us to be any other way; it is just natural for us.
This way of thinking excludes developing our strengths and becoming even more brilliant. You can’t develop what you don’t recognize. You can’t expand what you are not aware of.
Building on your strengths is also about responsibility. You probably don’t take pride in your natural talents any more than you would take pride in your sex, race, or hair color. Natural talents are gifts from God and your gene pool.
However, you have a great deal to do with turning your talents into real strengths. You can take your talents into the realm of excellence. It involves becoming acutely aware, developing an action learning plan, and “practice, practice, practice”. Viewed in this light, to avoid your strengths by focusing on your weaknesses is practically a sign of irresponsibility.
The Courage to Be Brilliant
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure … We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.” –Marianne Williamson
The most responsible – yet most challenging – thing to do is to face up to your natural talents. It is an honor to have such blessings. Do not waste them. Step up to the potential inherent in your talents and find ways to develop your strengths. Be true to yourself by becoming more of who you really are.
This advice is easy to give and difficult to practice. It is easier when working with a trained professional coach. Working with your coach can make it easier for you to identify your talents and strengths. Once your five top strengths are identified, you can examine how they show up in your life and where you want to strengthen their impact.
It is a process of a few steps back, a few steps forward, and learning as you go. It is not the same as book learning. The only way to learn about your strengths is to act, learn, refine, and then act, learn, refine. Open yourself to feedback. This means you must be strong and courageous. Personal development is not for sissies.
Discovering your true strengths is the path towards improvement and success. When you pay attention to your deficits and try to overcome them, you are placing emphasis on becoming what you are not. You wind up living a second-rate version of someone else’s life rather than a world-class version of your own.