Published in Womeninc, December 2004
by Diana Gabriel
I have enjoyed meeting and speaking with many of you since the Premier issue arrived on your door steps. You have commented, “I loved the article and never really thought about my life purpose and life balance in the way you wrote about it.”
When I inquire about how an individual is doing on the commitment and intention suggestion in the article, the “yes buts” start. It is not uncommon for us women to read or hear something and get all excited about it and say “Yes, that is what I need to do.” We “try” it a few times and quickly slip back into our habitual way of being where our self care is low on the priority list. What is this resistance to “good” change all about for us?
Our resistance to change is a normal human response. However, people will often interrupt their resistance to change as a “red stop light” instead of a “yellow light,” which might indicate that we need to slow down and reassess whether where we are going is in alignment with our sacred values and/or life purpose. Then, we can proceed.
It takes a lot of energy to resist change and maintain the status quo, no matter how much we are dissatisfied with they way things are. Many of us make changes only after something dramatic or catastrophic has happened to us or someone we love. Often we have a “sense” [desire] to change things but ignore it because, at that moment, maintaining the status quo appears easier. What is it we fear about change?
How might our lives be different if we were to embrace change, viewing it as increased energy and opening the world of possibilities to us? Knowing that resistance is a natural phenomenon and is always present we seek it out and confront it with a plan of action to disempower it. Embracing change puts us in the driver’s seat. When we resisting change we disable our ability to solve problems. The old adage, “What we resist persists,” is true. Resisting in and of itself also causes stress.
How to move into action: Take the time to contemplate what is most important to you. Articulate your sacred values. Next, write a life purpose statement explaining what gives your life meaning and purpose. Search for a deep clarity about your vision of a fulfilled, meaningful life. Then, develop a plan of action.
In a recent article, Coach Rich Fettke proposes a formula that I would suggest you try over the next month as you confront your resistance to change.
F- Focus “What do you want?”
E – Explore “What is stopping you?”
A – Assess “What could you do?”
R- Respond “What will you do?”
Remember to send in any questions that you may be pondering about you in relationship to work, family, friends and/or life in general.