Bouncing Back: What Can You Change?

When I coach individuals in the coaching work I do about bouncing back and building resiliency from change or loss I remind people to focus on the things they can change instead of rehashing the stories that happened to them.

People naturally know this, but forget to do.  We are conditioned to tell the terrible story.

You can’t change other people, places or things. The only thing you can change is your thinking, beliefs and actions, including your self-talk. Those are the keys to bouncing back and being resilient.

Here’s the challenging part: approaching situations differently usually involves processes that are uncomfortable and foreign to us. For example, you may need to take a risk and leave your comfort zone. You may have to call someone you’ve been avoiding. You may need to confront an issue or be willing to ask for help.

This is hard, and especially difficult to do on your own. That’s why so many people decide to work with a coach. Everybody needs someone to talk things through before taking a risk.

Embracing and acting on these realities may seem like an excruciating prospect. You’ll need to shed your protective cocoon and open yourself up to possibly. Cocoons are merely illusions of safety.

You cannot reach your dream without shedding your old skin and learning to think anew.  You can’t land another job unless you’re brave enough to apply. You can’t benefit from retraining until you sign up for relevant programs or classes.

If you fail to take responsibility for your thoughts and actions you will never be able to live into the possibilities that are out there for you.  You’ll be stuck in a bad movie. Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, you’ll just keep replaying the same mistakes.

What’s been your experience with bouncing back? I’d love to hear from you.


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